quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
They are going to name an STD after you.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
