OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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