Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
