yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
