Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize