The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
