Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
