So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
