Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I see more hoeing in ur future
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