who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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