dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize