i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
