Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
