You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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