Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
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I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
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He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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