What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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