You're my little dorito
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
