Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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