forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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