Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
