We're like a lot better than the average bears
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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