Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
