You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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