Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
