youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
