I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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