Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
