he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
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i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
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He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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