So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
