If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
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one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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