I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
