let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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