oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
