It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
