I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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