I want to have your abortion
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
