just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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