You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
