I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
