haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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