Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
