there's paper in my vomit.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
he's single and there are thong briefs.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
