friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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