i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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