I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
