..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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