Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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