Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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