We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
