i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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