if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
