dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I woke up under a house in Key West
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize