hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
