She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Randomize
