but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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