I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
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