You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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