my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Bring me that man meat
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize