My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
