Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
