He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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