I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
