She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
