so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
