Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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